My husband and I have been married for a long time. On my bike ride yesterday, I was reflecting how solid I feel about our love. Wishing I could give encouragement to young couples who might be in the throes of tension and passion, wishing I could somehow say to them don’t worry, lean into love – it’s stronger than all your dramas.
It also may go without saying that not every moment has been rosy. I was thinking about that on the ride, too – and how I really think we’ve moved beyond the place of angry dramas. So it was funny when, on our walk this afternoon, my husband turned around abruptly and started storming back. “I don’t need this,” he said. “This is not what I came for.” I walked on, the distance widening between us.
I wasn’t really upset. I think it’s true that our love is a solid enough cushion to keep our sensibilities unscratched. But I had been looking for a poem, and the one that started to come reflected my position. It also reflected my sense of the power of love.
I didn’t think I’d share it. It’s (sort of) dirty laundry, not showing either of us in our best light. (Him, because I say he grumbles, etc. Me, because I say he grumbles, etc.) But I like the poem, and no other ones sprang to pen tip. So here it is:
The argument continues in the poet’s thought:
Admit it: it takes more than wit and gumption
It takes great love and humbleness of heart
to navigate your minefields of assumptions
though I can take no credit for my art
The Love that guides me through them is much larger
than what romance or reason might require
The universal law that is in charge here
will save us both from your reactive fire
So now, though you’ve withdrawn into your grumbles
of what you don’t have time for, and your cold
rehearsal of your valid indignation
here is the place of peace that I can hold:
The Love that made us burns as love within us
and it will lift us, bless us, purge us, win us.
©Wendy Mulhern
March 20, 2011
