Still

I am with you
because we have found a way
to gather, as a thing distilled,
in the condensing places
where whatever mattered
from our words, and from our efforts,
what we noticed, what we cared about,
is concentrated in the quiet that we sit with
and shines the crystal brightness
of what’s true

I am with you
through and after all our struggles
because, willing or not,
we have been pressed to this purity.
Having come this far,
nothing else makes sense.

©Wendy Mulhern
January 9, 2018

Intimately

The moon throws shadows
on the house walls
as we sit in chairs in the front yard,
and talk of people in our past
and wonder
about old and present currents
of connection

There were other things during our walk —
teenage angst and what occasioned it,
how a cycle of oppression can be broken
and how the past itself can be reworked

More than the thoughts expressed,
the paths through which they traveled,
the rooms they’ve opened up
in each other’s minds
have left me feeling warm towards you
within the promise
of dwelling there in coziness together.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 2, 2017

Yoked

(in contemplation of thirty-five years)

These days you and I
move forward in easy step,
our common yoke our common dream
we lean into together

The unutterable magnitude
of our aspiration
leaves us often in silence,
or we talk of tasks and plans
as if those were the sum of our engagement

But our hope, laced far too often
with the fear we will not speak
binds us more deeply
than years, than memories —
in some moments we may fathom
we are closer than as one
our life together
less choice than destiny.

©Wendy Mulhern
September 26, 2017

What I Needed

I let the music take me like a kite,
I spun and swooped, I dipped and soared –
twirled without dizziness and without getting tired
as if a power not my own had moved me

I came for this, and so I was rewarded,
so, for a brief time at least, I could fly,
yet, like a kite, I needed some connection,
something to hold me up against the wind

Without that, soon I wandered aimless —
my motivation faltered, I lay down —
without the invitation to dance with others
my movement faltered, started to go bland

And that’s why your appearance
was such a welcome sight —
your eyes met mine
and launched me into flight.

©Wendy Mulhern
August 8, 2017

Bounty

I will not go hungering and begging
for what has always been mine,
for what I have
by virtue of my essence

I will not underestimate
the power of Life to meet my need
with what another needs to give.
I will be glad my need to give
is similarly met

This is my point of waking,
to be assiduous
but with no doubt behind it,
move forward generous
and free of fear,
cultivate humbleness
and a ready ear,
reap the bounty
that’s always here.

©Wendy Mulhern
May 7, 2017

The Language of Light

I’m learning the language of light.
Like all languages, it takes practice,
it takes immersion,
and there’s a great sense of victory
when I dream in it

I’m learning the language of light,
just a few words at a time —
the names, for example,
that people have for themselves,
a name, perhaps, that they
forbid themselves to use
but wait in deep longing
for someone else to speak it to them

The verbs, also,
like soar and lilt
and rise, and meet,
and own your truest name

I’m learning the language of light
from countless tutors, large and small,
the flash of a moment, the steady care of years.
Though my words are halting
I say them anyway,
for that’s the only way to really learn.

©Wendy Mulhern
March 13, 2017

Forgive Me

Forgive me, for I didn’t expect
the swift slap of anger that rose up
as if from within me, that blew
my behavior off course a couple of feet
before I crouched down and let it go,
so much useless, howling nothingness
that tried to make me think it was important,
that tried to make me feel justified

Forgive me, for I reacted,
in that moment, so full of myself
that I forgot to see you. Forgot
that seeing you is the one excellent thing
I can do for myself, what makes me
realize myself more fully. That is to say,
seeing you will lift me from myself
to my true being,
fulfilling the role that Life intends,
good for you and me.

©Wendy Mulhern
January 10, 2017

Our Bond

edward-looking-at-tree

Sometimes when we get close
we scrape at the edges
of grief and longing, we
let out great sighs, which
have no words to fill them

Sometimes in grief and longing
we grow distant, wishing, perhaps,
to spare each other from the same thing.
Then as we come together,
we notice how deep,
how strong, complex and tender
is our bond,

How much we are committed
to throwing our weight
into the small boat of our hope
and rowing with all our strength
that we may steer it, finally,
to the long sought shore.

©Wendy Mulhern
November 2, 2016

Reset

carkeek-steps-fall

And how do we do reset?
When the threads of our efforts
are tangled beyond redemption,
when there’s no path in
for anything we might say?

Shall we do reset like fall, like winter,
everything thrown into rain and wind,
coherence abandoned,
distracted into the silence
of going down and down, in and in?

Or shall we do reset
like chocolate? —
signature sweetness clearing our palates,
spreading to fill the unnamed hole within

Shall we look and notice
our smiles still find each other,
our hopes still run eagerly
to meet in the well-known fields
of our conversation

Shall we do reset without effort —
simply returning
with new attention
to what is always here.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 30, 2016

Payment

fire

We tuck everything in,
we settle up,
we seal the edges

Cozy endings are worth
what we have to pay for them.
Payment is worth it for
what it does to us,
how it makes us stand straight
so the rushing intake
of all that fills us,
all we are given to provide,
will be strong and clear
and unobstructed

And we will be whole
and we will be generous
because we gave what is due.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 19, 2016