A Page, A Light

magnolia blossoms

Though I have thought myself a figure
(as scribbled on a page)
in fact, I am the page,
and all that’s there
belongs to me —
the scribbles and the story,
and especially
the luminescence rising up behind them
whereby it can be seen that they are there

And though my body
and what I’ve called my mind
have craved to own
just a little more
of that resplendent light,
in fact, the light is me
so I can have it
with no further regimen
of self improvement

Indeed, there is no need
to look to those dark marks
for understanding and acceptance —
I can form them
as part of my expression,
but they don’t form me or contain me

I am so much bigger —
a page to tell the truth,
a light in clear reflection of its source.

©Wendy Mulhern
March 24, 2016

What I Remember

dead thistles

I came to this place falling,
dodging the clattering false
dichotomies (strict or permissive,
realistic or lovely)
bearing the angular unhappiness
of life as taught
(so far removed from my longings)
settling for (seeing no choice)
the indifferent acceptance, the
provisional belonging,
taking for granted the gray
gaping loneliness
stretched in long swaths
across my days

No, not this! Not this,
rather, what was there through it all,
the deep hopes (that glinted, often helpless,
behind the machinations),
the quick stolen acts of kindness,
the moments of honest expression
whose light spilled out
over all the darkness
and saved me, really,
time and again. Those were the real gifts,
the ones they intended all along,
the ones we intend, too.

©Wendy Mulhern
March 23, 2016

Transition

road and puddle

These days,
I’m feeling like a loose tooth —
I bite into my days
with a wobble

Some days I don’t know
what I’ll do to fill them.
Some are so packed with purpose
I have no time
to think of what I’ll do.
I feel fuller after the filled-up days

As for the emptier ones,
the stuff I might pull into them
can feel like dust, like rubble —
things I may have wanted
now having no connection
to the new life
I haven’t quite stepped into.

©Wendy Mulhern
March 22, 2016

These, Too

Holly's quince

Not only me,
not only me and you,
not only me and you and all the world
are held in tender love

Not only us,
but all the space between us,
all the ways we touch each other,
all the ways we come together,
all the bright intensities we feel
in contact with each other —
these, too, are held in love

These, too, are citizens
of the Oneness, these, too,
are given what they need
to prosper and to thrive.
They don’t depend on us
to live or fail —
we all can ride
in the security
of our perfect place.

©Wendy Mulhern
March 21, 2016

New Day

field with purple

Iridescent dewdrops on the grass,
the temperature far more complex
than sixty-three degrees,
an iridescent scented mix
of warmth and coolness,
breeze conveying fir and grass and earth

Days bring new ways of openness,
fresh perspectives, and the chance to learn
to move without restraint, and with precision,
to value others rightly, to be grateful,
to love the moments offered,
and to offer myself,
free and present, to this splendid hour.

©Wendy Mulhern
March 19, 2016

Going Forward

edward,pump

Up till now, our progress has felt
like water cresting —
surging and halting, rolling over itself,
seeming not to move
and threatening to flood
at the same time

Today we begin to see
the unfolding of it,
step by step —
all these will happen
but not all at once —

We will be ready
for everything as it comes,
our work —
to match our pace
with our breathing,
one breath at a time,
no more, no less,
riding the wave till it’s done.

©Wendy Mulhern
March 18, 2016

Death, Choices — Random Thoughts

blossoms

Death hovers at the edges,
an uninvited guest.
We make our life decisions —
where to live, who to live with,
how to fill our days . . .
We say we never choose death

We say it’s not our choice,
it’s a clanging gong, and
you never can predict
when its dark tone
will snuff out all the plans,
will make both hopes and fears
irrelevant. (We may call it seductive,
for just that reason.)

We make our choices
as if we could manage death —
schedule it at the end
of all the other things

(Some people whisper
that you never go without a choice,
that you can remember
you always can choose life —
however strongly you are told
you must choose death, it’s never true)

Whatever. In this life, today,
I choose living. Because I am.
And life is what I Am always chooses.

©Wendy Mulhern
March 17, 2016

Yearning

helebore

See how we are all yearning,
how we reach, and cycle back,
see how we pursue what we believe
will give us what we need —
we reach, we grasp, we cycle back

Whatever stories we may try to use
as traction, to show some progress,
relative at least,
against the wave of others who are striving,
just keep us in the loop of not receiving

Look! We are all yearning,
and what we want is really all the same,
and no one’s course is any more approved
than any other.

Let us join hands,
for in this gesture we may find
(hands clasped, hearts unshielded,
current flowing)
if we can’t give each other
what each other needs,
we’ll still begin approaching what we long for,
we’ll still create the openness
that lets us each receive.

©Wendy Mulhern
March 16, 2016

Deepening

Marcola oak

Truth will not let my love be shallow.
It will deepen me
if needed by carving canyons
with the restraint of a Missoula flood.
There won’t be any time for mourning —
all I cherished as myself
will be gone in a flash,
and in the ravished, newly purified
place of my being,
the rocks will stand exposed.
I will be deepened
along the channels that pour through.

Love will not let my life be shallow.
It will send its roots down
to the very depths of me,
finding the ancient water,
drawing it up
to nourish everything
that grows within my sphere.

©Wendy Mulhern
March 15, 2016

To the Rescue

pond and willows

It doesn’t matter
if you think you’re weak,
if you think you’re damaged,
if you think you always fail —
the you that can do what’s needed
is not touched by what you think

There is a you that rises
in the space between the words,
between the thoughts,
a you you’ve met in glimpses
in the surges of acceptance
that you’ve felt, however rare they’ve been

This you wins everything
and it will win you over, too —
don’t be afraid —
you will come to your rescue!

©Wendy Mulhern
March 14, 2016