Tag Archives: parenting

Beyond the curse

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The love I had for you
was so much bigger
than the tiny locus
through which the story said
it had to come,
so much bigger than our forms

It started teaching me,
though I was slow to learn,
to cast my sense of you and me
much wider than the noose that claimed
it must contain us,
contain, constrain, with time and space,
and all the things we knew we didn’t understand

I look up now to contemplate
how we might be to each other
beyond the myth of human birth and death,
beyond possession and responsibility,
and hidden terror at the thought of failure

We would be loosed from those constricting ties,
and wouldn’t love each other any less –
it wouldn’t be proprietary,
but knowing you, I’d still be blessed.

©Wendy Mulhern
November 4, 2023

Father to Son

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My son, I tell you this because
to share the hidden vectors
lets you take hold of them,
lets you wield them
instead of being secretly pierced

My father thought
hiding such things from me
would spare me, but I found
I had to treat his wounds anyway,
not knowing they were his,
feeling them my own

I know that what I don’t transmute
I leave for you to do –
know that I’m working on it.
Maybe this way, somehow,
we can work on it together  –
maybe we both
can find a freer sphere.

©Wendy Mulhern
July 10, 2022

Forgive, forgive

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I was too comfortable
as a half person,
willingly framing my merit
in contrast to someone else’s lack,
loving the feeling of being right,
of being in the club
of those who know

Even though, most often,
I found myself left out,
locked on the shadow side
not understanding why,
not seeing how that shadow
was of my own creating,
a function of dividing things in half

Forgive, forgive, forgive me
for the pain I caused my children
(for my own pain. I can effortlessly laugh)
Forgive, forgive –
and I will do the same
in every place I see to,
in every place I can.

©Wendy Mulhern
July 29, 2020

Then and now

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I tell myself, in those days
I didn’t understand much about love,
though I did love
(as now I see we all do)
haplessly, perhaps,
helplessly at times,
with an intensity that could have been a key

I didn’t understand love’s power,
didn’t know to use it
so the ones I loved would feel encouraged,
safe, encircled, ready to go forth
to meet their own exigencies with love

I ask myself, well,
how much more of love
do you know now?
And are you able
to shine the light in such a way
that it illuminates instead of blinding?

And if I am, and when I am,
then all those other times of love
will also be redeemed.
That is the way of love,
and love will teach me how.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 25, 2019

At the Beach

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Sweet and masterful mom
speaks gently, no hidden venom
beneath her directives

Her children respond
without trauma,
gentle interest
leading their pursuits

In this world where so many
voice their alarm about the days,
this simple presence holds
hope for the future,
we can all learn to embody
these kind ways.

©Wendy Mulhern
May 25, 2017

What I Remember

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dead thistles

I came to this place falling,
dodging the clattering false
dichotomies (strict or permissive,
realistic or lovely)
bearing the angular unhappiness
of life as taught
(so far removed from my longings)
settling for (seeing no choice)
the indifferent acceptance, the
provisional belonging,
taking for granted the gray
gaping loneliness
stretched in long swaths
across my days

No, not this! Not this,
rather, what was there through it all,
the deep hopes (that glinted, often helpless,
behind the machinations),
the quick stolen acts of kindness,
the moments of honest expression
whose light spilled out
over all the darkness
and saved me, really,
time and again. Those were the real gifts,
the ones they intended all along,
the ones we intend, too.

©Wendy Mulhern
March 23, 2016