Setback

I went out shiny and hopeful,
I came back grubby and bruised,
I tripped over myself
so many times,
I got in my way —
such a familiar place

I had made grand narratives
for my triumph, had configured the words
but then found myself
once again
having to settle for silence

I know
there is another way,
I see the sweet humility
that overcomes the toughest challenge.
I feel the gratitude
for those quiet moments
where I see others
have found that peace

I can’t do this alone
but I’m not asked to,
nor am I charged to chronicle the story.
The steps are shown,
and all those dear ones
wait eager to receive me when I come.

©Wendy Mulhern
February 13, 2020

Above

And for now
I can sit like a low cloud
above the scenery,
I can be within the rain,
it can be something
that isn’t falling,
or it is, but I’m still here

There is a peace,
a suffusion of quiet glows,
a sense of being untouched
by what moves below,
letting my being be determined
not by my will or effort,
but by what moves in me
and makes me what I am.

©Wendy Mulhern
February 11, 2020

Light Traveling

In light traveling, as I slowly learn,
I must be vigilant
not to put my weight down,
not to stick my fingers
into any situation,
lest I be grabbed
and wrenched downwards,
lest I smudge and darken
my perception

In light traveling
I must hold myself
open to the wind
and to the logic of Allness,
and everything that light touches,
so I am borne up
in the fabric of everything,
so I am woven true.

©Wendy Mulhern
February 10, 2020

Shadow

I closed my eyes
and the blue violet shadow
swept over me, through me,
then its particulate
began to dissipate
but the dark specs
still shaded everything

I can see the light —
right there, in memory,
and under everything —
it will rise,
it will become
what fills my consciousness and sight.
This I know well
though I can’t feel it now.

©Wendy Mulhern
February 9, 2020

All the same

This may seem infinitely different
but it is all the same,
the binding loops of fear
are not distinct, there is no
relative virtue in the systems
that hold us down — one pathology
is just as haunting
as another

We can find comfort, then, perhaps,
in what we share,
stop putting ourselves down,
forgive each other,
and in the space that makes,
we’ll come to see
it is the same release
that frees us all.

©Wendy Mulhern
February 7, 2020

The Fruits of Waiting

A soft day —
a day for the lessons of patience,
of things still waiting in winter rain,
the colors that shine
while the brighter ones are gone

I struggled through the morning’s low
to find these — the fruits
of going slow,
slow enough to mute
any opinions
and let the inner structures
take as long as they need to
to speak for themselves.

©Wendy Mulhern
February 6, 2020

A Word for Tomorrow

Do not be dismayed
at the insanity you see —
the flagrant lies, the bland
denial of what’s known to be

This whole charade
with its elaborate displays
can only lope so far
before it topples

Do not be afraid,
for underneath the bald parade,
Life’s engine hums,
and in the end, life moves itself
the way life wants to go,
and as you nurture it,
it will bloom huge —
there is no lie it will not overthrow.

©Wendy Mulhern
February 4, 2020

One Voice

There is no part of me
that doesn’t hear
the voice that speaks my name

There is no part of me
that doesn’t answer,
grateful in remembrance,
glad to be reminded
of how I am so intimately known

My tongue prepares
gold tribute in my mouth,
my arms reach out
to hasten the embrace,
my thought body swoops
across the field in joy,
my heart body stays close,
following my breath

Amid the many clamoring voices —
dragon’s breath roar, swift dismissal —
this voice rings so clear
it claims my full attention,
these are the words
I’m happy to repeat.

©Wendy Mulhern
February 3, 2020

Art Appreciation

And if I can’t play the music
that drenches me
with the presence of beauty,
that flows down my arms
and fills my mouth
and ripples me with shimmers
from the sun

Perhaps this standing in it
is still worth something —
perhaps this gratitude
for its existence,
this rising joy, all-in reverberation
still serves a function —
gives the music someone who believes.

©Wendy Mulhern
February 1, 2020

As night closed in

It’s too dark to see my words
but not too dark to see
how the light falls on the page,
the glow along the center line
where it slopes in, and the orange cast
of the nightlight catching the curve

It was too late to find a poem that night,
shadow shapes showing where the words were
but not enough of thought
to pull it through.

©Wendy Mulhern
January 31, 2020