You Shine

For Aud, on her birthday
as phosphorescence calls to star
across the wide abyss of scale and space
as smiling dancers catch each other’s eye
in liquid motion of communal grace
as laughter flows like mountain streams
reflecting sunlight, bright cascading thread
as shared remembrance brings out precious dreams
collecting gravity to hold connection steady
so your strong line of light calls forth the spark
that makes us feel accepted and connected
you shine, and we glow forth against the dark
shine on shine, down chains of light reflected
amid life’s scrambles, worries, hopes, and woe
you shine – I wanted you to know.
with love from Wendy


©Wendy Mulhern
March 11, 2011


Homework

Father and son
work on math
socks abandoned on the floor
beneath the stools on which they sat
to pore through textbooks
try equations
series
permutations
probabilities.
The heat of mind exertion rises
rests on cheeks, enlivens eyes
The problems don’t turn off at night
impinge on sleep of father
(not of son, who crashes mightily
and fills with languor deep and thick)
Both hard to rouse come morning.
But next day, they resume
(what did you get for number four?)
and though the son will not admit it
a smile hovers
just behind his mouth.
They power through together.


©Wendy Mulhern
March 8, 2011



Flying Turtles

I let the breathing and the chords entrance
me in the inter-weavings of the dance
where arms could touch and bring another in
to an embrace that swayed as we’d begin
to move in single pulsing waves as one
to give each other’s touch permission and
each one a welcome not to be alone.
We moved in holy breath, entwining arms
the steady strength of backs against each other
or fingers brushed like butterflies together
and separated by a common wind
then stirred into a frenzied, twirling blend.
We leave our fears and judgment well away
So all can permeate us in their way.


©Wendy Mulhern
December 3, 2010



Ivy

Today I pulled invasive ivy from the backyard, while my husband sat with his father in the emergency room after we received a call that he (my father-in-law) had been delivered there after fainting in church.  And I had several sweet new communications via facebook, and my son and my husband powered through math in spite of setbacks.  Later (with me still smelling of ivy) my husband and I talked of past and future – disappointments and resolutions relating to his father.  All of which amounted to the following:
Ivy Twining
The ivy is my worthy yard opponent
It teaches me of life as I uproot it
It spreads its complicated woven networks
I comb the loam for horizontal runners
Today I planted several tender tendrils
Beginning branchings that I hope will grow
Nets that can, entwined, uphold each other
A web of trust that all of us can know
While in another branching of the family
The knotted roots of past – betrayal, anger
Pulled consequences out from distant reaches
Touched off by small deception’s ancient hold
I rip out armloads, stuff it all away
As ivy’s images creep, wily, through my day.


©Wendy Mulhern
March 6, 2011


Touch

I went to the Turtle Dance last night, and realized, towards the end of it, how I crave touch.  Not just the touch of one other, though that is nice, but the intertwined, complex touch of many people moving together.  
The Turtle Dance is a weekly ecstatic dance frequented by people who often express the conviction that they are part of an inexorable love revolution – yes, somewhat hippie – and sometimes, when I’m there, I can believe it.  Sometimes I go away feeling that no one there knows me or cares whether I’m there, though they seem to care about each other.  Other times I feel like I belong.  The difference is in whether I have been in a good, multi-person, intertwining dance.

A touch can be a chord, a hum, a tuning
A circuit closed, electric-lighting joy
The answer to my silent, nameless yearning
that carries me through darkness to the day
A touch can form a net of strong connection
A place to hold my fragile, new-formed soul
A current that delivers satisfaction
The DNA for growing strong and whole.
Though I may live without it, my deep hunger
will send me searching for it in its time
I’ll need to twine my tendrils with some others
and wind around to reach the light, and climb.
I’ll drink touch in for what it can provide;
My need for contact will not be denied.


©Wendy Mulhern
March 5, 2011


Cricket in a Grass Cage

I turned on the light and went into the cold room, closing the door behind me.  I opened the sliding closet door and, on my knees, began to take the shoes off the plastic box.  Why, I asked myself, do you keep your writings in a box that is so hard to get to, and whose lid is so hard to open – as I wrestled with the tightly snapped-on plastic.  
I was looking for a poem I wrote in high school.  I remembered most of it, and remembered writing it, how the phrase “cricket in a grass cage,” had just come to mind, and how the words had effortlessly unfolded from there, revealing their story.  I was thinking about how, though the sentiment wasn’t one I had striven to express, it seemed true enough at the time.  And how, though I hadn’t acknowledged it then, the poem was probably influenced by Dylan Thomas’ “Fern Hill,” a poem my mother loved and had shared with me.
The copy that I found was one I had prepared to submit for publication, and I had changed some words from the ones I remembered, and had left out a stanza to make it more taut (so I thought).  But the missing stanza was one that, for me, drove the rhythm and feeling of the poem, and left its strong mark on my memory, so I put it back.  
The poem has the sensibilities of a high school student, but I still like it.
Cricket in a Grass Cage
Before myself, we used to fly
And walk life’s mountain paths
Our step was sure and we were strong
And we could see forever
There was no limit
All we knew was hinder-free
High bouncing or whatever
In a never-time or instant
Life was sweet – we learned to sing its song
In timeless – free and easy – laughter
And in tender caring, tears
With joy and softly knowing, never fears
But slowly or with crashing 
Came myself, and I am here
And time was thrust upon a soul
And ticking limits hold my flight
They measure out the tune
All is chained except the spirit
And I am here
With no free movement very far
With no free will to go or stay
So little to express my being
With only me to say I am.
And so I sing my song
Like a cricket in a grass cage
With all the glory of the meadow
Confined in this precise bamboo.


©Wendy Mulhern
Spring, 1974


Innocence

Writing in my journal today, I paused, and wrote, “incite insight” – just a sentence that came to mind.  It reminded me of a set of poems I wrote in college, around the time of my first love.
I keep the poems on an index card in a once-white plastic file box which contains my recipes.  After desserts there’s a tab that says “linguists’ assertions”, and contains quotes about various kinds of presuppositions.  The tab after that is blank, and behind it are poems, and pep talks to myself.  The first poem of the set is missing, but no matter – I know it by heart.
Innocence
I
Innocence
In a sense
Unwarned, in love encaptured
Unaware how not to care
In loving arms enwrapped
Enraptured.
II.
Innocence
In essence
A warming concord captured
Well aware how much we care
As Love holds us enwrapped
Enraptured.
III.
Innocence
In us, sense
To see our source of rapture
The wonder of untrammeled love
That trust makes us so apt
To capture.


©Wendy Mulhern
-Spring, 1980 (I think)

Saturday Afternoon, at the Laughing Ladies Cafe


In our quiet corner of the world
The snow comes down, the furnace clicks
The wheels of commerce hum and purr
Folks with laptops smile and think and type
Espresso maker whines and thrums
Across the world, a short mouse click away
The streets are full, in history’s heady making
The breathless edge of life sharpens the day
As destiny hangs low, ripe for the taking
We sip our mochas, read the news
Do homework, glance out at each other
Confront our daily challenges, pace through duties
Instruct our children, check in on our friends
Buy gasoline, keep warm, wait for spring
Across the world, powers make their play
Wills pull taut, old expectations breaking
How dare they ask? – How could they not?  Today
In rippled flows like childbirth, youth is waking.


©Wendy Mulhern
February 26, 2011



Seeking to be Under the Influence

“I hate poetry,” my son said to me today.  “Everyone does.” As usual I laughed about him being the knower of everyone.  But walking back from the library, four poetry books in my bag – four from four shelves worth, chosen almost randomly – I wondered about it.  I don’t know the land of poetry, or its history – its topography, geology, political lines.  I know a few poets I like, some I love.  I know I have been influenced by poets at different times in my life, where it feels like their music gets into my blood and makes my words sing like theirs.  But I don’t know how to find more like them.  I’m thinking I need to.
I wrote the following poem in 1976, after a magical walk on a magical beach in Wales.  In my efforts to capture the occasion and how it moved me, I felt influenced by the work of Dylan Thomas.  
Aberdaron
The night is silver and lace,
lace dragging mirrors
down to the sea
back to the black deep etched in foam
laced in swirling form
silver in its dance for the ruling moon.
Mirrors glint and recede –
the lace comes again to the shore
to cast them
and drag them slowly back as they
reflect the sky.
as sand reflects sky
the sky reflects sea
clouds reflect the foam
the depth of the sea reflects the moon.
The black islands say nothing, though the moon
is riding in a violet-blue carriage surrounded by rainbow
The dull, humble textured cliffs watch
while tousled clouds walk lofty
lost
in reverie
floating in a cave of wind.
Silent in the darkness
a stone
is smooth and black
with a white ring of lace around it.


©Wendy Mulhern
Late Fall, 1976